Dum spiro, spero

Hello everyone,

I am in luck. An old friend gave me a laptop.

So now I am back in action!

I am still around in case no one noticed.

My poor friends, sometimes I thank the powers that be, for the friends I keep. A has been with me as far as we were 15. I guess whatever love I don't get, I force. LOL.
 
I managed to coax a birthday date from poor A. I remember we used to do this when we were much younger. It would be a dinner, drinks, followed by a movie and then riding the bike to wherever we want. See stars? Sit by the beach? More supper? Done! And we'd get home by sunrise. It was, in retrospect, pretty romantic.

I find myself being reminded a lot of younger days lately. Watched Spring Awakening with JK and realized I AM getting older as I see the youths in the face of their fears, insecurity and curiousity.

As it turns out, A's GF bought him a A&F shirt and he didn;t like it. Guess who he needs heelp choosing clothes? As far as I can remember, I'm always the go to person when it comes to A. I've seen him through countless fittings of clothes. And it's almost normal for me to be folding his sleeves and tucking the to see how he looks like in the apparels. Over time, we got used to the stares from the sales staff. But I was adamant he shd keep the gift. If I were the GF, I'll probably be flabbergasted. I mean, if I chose it and you changed it cos you didn't like the pattern, its a bit of a in-your-face " you got bad taste" no? But A was unfazed. And who am I to have a say? So I pointed out the nice checkered one and he exchanged it without batting an eyelid. So I told him, I bought him the shirt but his GF paid for it. LOL.

And worse, I made him wear the shirt for date night! Haha, so we turned up in matching outfits and all. Had steak and fries, knocked back a  few drinks. Met a few friends. And headed home. And as I headed back I turned to him.

"You go on home, I'll wait for the bus."

A:"Nah, wait with you"

And we sat at the bus stop. Waiting for the bus. Somehow, it warms my heart, that despite growing old, old habits didn't change. I remembered when A would always wait for the bus with me when we were kids.

I don't know if there really is a God. But if there is,.... TGFF.

Saying sorry, it seems, takes more than just opening your mouth and uttering the word. I know people who said sorry all the time. But their sorries have become a ticket to get away from the mistakes they commit. 

D used to say sorry all the time. But goes back to his bratty ways the next days. It just doesn't count. So how to tell when someone is really apologetic? I am still figuring it out.

After much thinking, I decided that I would do birthday drinks just for a small 2-3 friends. Of course my bestie is invited. He arrived 1st, which gave us some time for a one-one. I finally told him of my disappointment about his last minute abortion. In my own dramatic way:-

D: I was heartbroken you know!?
B: Well, you also what, you last minute allergic reaction during NYE and didn't show up.

Not a fair fight. But I manage to put on a serious face and said:

D: To be frank, I was very disappointed.
B: *pout, well, I did told you I was HOME and I asked where were you.
D: Meaning?
B: You were supposed to ask me out again. It's a hint?!?!?!
D: WTF! So many years still HINT?
B: But u know I always hint!
D: But you know I never take hints well!!

At this point, we both can't help laughing. Bestie never apologized. But in a split second when he pouted. I knew from his expression that was usually how he diffuses tense situations. He's tongue-tied. He was never good with words.

After all, who tries calling you at the stroke of midnight to wish you happy birthday, only to have you miss the call and he still calls back 25 minutes later? I only have one person that day.

You know who.

Well guess what, I am back at the chain gang next Monday. After well, 2 months break from the last job. Not that you're wouldn't know what happened, in an unexpected turn of event, I said goodbye to the sweat shop. Boy was I glad for the newfound freedom. Straight off I had 2 weeks of ICT. Then it was Xmas, New Year's CNY and my BD celebrations.

While I while my time away after X'mas, I found pleasure in taking my time to wake up and planning my activities around the weather and my whims. Most times, its sunny. so I will gym cos it's indoors... and when it's raining, I practise my breastroke after the rain. So most days, I wake up at 11am, eat a slow brunch, hit the gym at 12 odd and basically stay there till late afternoon, sometimes, chilling at the coffee joint. It lasted 2 weeks, I was getting a tan, and somehow I looked better in my clothes. I run at night. And I remember bumping into B and R at Orchard while admiring the X'mas lightings.

I was enjoying my newfound freedom! I've never not worked for so long since I graduated. And time does fly. And as I went for interviews and pending people replying me. I got sick of the notion that I have to wait for things to happen. It was fun doing leisurely things. But there were pursuits I've always wanted to chase since I was a kid. SO many I lost count.

I started meeting friends up and bouncing ideas off them. On the plate were a few options. But I've always been prudent... so baby steps. And I enrolled in a Diploma in Make-up. And on my 1st day of lesson, I got calls from 2 potential employers wanting to see me with regards to my old job experience. Darn! It HAS to be like that. The course takes 3 months if I do it full time. 2 weeks into the course, I got an offer from one of the firms. One thing I learn is we all have mouths to feed. And I am a firm believer of having my cake and eat it too. A lot of people do that.

So yes, after completing a module of my class, I have learnt how to do bridal make-up (yay!).Make up class has to be rescheduled to part time. Hopefully, one day I will go pro and slowly move out of the rat race. But more importantly, do something that I am happy with.

And next week, I embark on a new journey in a new firm ( they offered, I take)...

Lesson learnt: Never stop believing. Think, must think big. Dream, must dream big. Right?

Yes, I am using my sis's lappie, which explains no 3s to replace the Es. =)

As usual, the month of Jan, there are celebrations. There is Lunar New Year's and there is of course, my birthday.

Not everyone celebrates their birthdays. I have friends who basically treat it like another day.

In recent years, I've celebrated with my mostest and closest. I didn't planned for anything this year. But friends have brought me out for tea and dinner. Some even threw me a surpise birthday with songs and all.

All is good. If only my bestie had not backed out on the supposed planned celebration. I took a step back and looked at it, afraid that I was throwing an unwarranted hissy/princess fit. But I think it warrants the state of disappointment I am in. After all, he did ask if I am doing anything for my birthday. And I did say "nothing much, but we can hit the club and drink and party." So the date was fixed. I was looking forward as usual, and it was partying with bestie. I'm bound to have fun.

On the day itself,

Me: So today what time ah?

B: I want to go to the gym. keke

Me: ??? So after gym, you go home and change and come back to town again?

**silence for quite a while

B: I feel fat, I don't feel like partying. And I have too much alcohol lately, so I am a bit sick of it.

Me: Oh, ok.

I know it's prefectly fine to feel unglam and not wanna go out. I also understand alcohol OD. But nothing prepared me for the suckerpunch that came 2 days later.

Posted on FB, are pictures of BOTTLES of alcohol and guess-who having a ball of a time?

Lessons learnt:
1. You can lose weight and look good in 2 days
2. Alcohol OD lasts only for a day
3. Facebook is evil
4. Reality bites
5. I still love you Bestie

Xoxo

1st, it was Xmas and th3n N3w y3ar's. B3for3 you know it and b3for3 I got to any n3w y3ar r3solutions, it was always on3 drink too many.

And y3s, p3rhaps I can buy a n3w lappi3? I hop3 th3 3s ar3 not irritating anyon3. Or isth3r3 ak3yboard I can attach to th3 lappi3? I am quit3 h3lpll3ss with things lik3 that. Any h3lp pl3as3?

So y3s, this y3ar is th y3ar of th3 dragon. No pric3 for gu3ssing my ag3. It's Jan. My month of hug3 3xp3ns3. Insuranc3, angbao for par3nts, post Xmas bills and th3 birthday parti3s.

Sp3aking of which, b3sti3 was asking if I wanna co throw anoth3r on3. I frown3d a littl3. I lov3 a good party. But $$$ is a factor to conc3rn 3v3r sinc3 I b3cam3 jobl3ss. And I do sp3nd a hug3 amount on parti3s. I hav3 this principl3 that if I throw a party, my gu3sts must b3 w3ll f3d... or to c3rtain 3xt3nt, k3pt happy with alcohol. So y3s, 3v3ry y3ar my BD party is lik3 a w3dding dinn3r. Hahaha.

My BD is too n3ar CNY. 3v3ryon3 will b3 fat from bak kwa and pin3appl3 tarts.And b3ing a p3rson with a h3althy app3tit3, I cannot just do liquid di3t. As L would put it, "what kinda party got no food?" Hahahha, I also say! Usually, its just strwb3rri3s and chocolat3s????!!!

So I might just skip it. I rath3r do qui3t catch ups with small groups of my fri3nds ov3r coff33 and a littl3 snack. But how do I say " its my BD, l3ts go drink kopi" without sounding lik3 I am asking for a tr3at??? *scratch h3ad. Its always th3 company that counts. Coff33 I can still afford.

So, coff33 anyon3? ;)

I finally ran my 3rd marathon. ;)

Not fantastic timing but I gu3ss finishing matt3rs. And I finish3d it quit3 comfortably. Th3 n3xt day, I could actually walk/hop to orchard for coff33 with b3sti3. Haha.

Lotsa things happ3n3d of lat3. I sudd3nly find mys3lf with lotsa things to do that ar3 not work r3lat3d. Lif3 s33m to b3 quit3 3njoyabl3 now that I finally hav3 a br3ak. N3xt w33k, I am going back to ICT. In th3 n3w camp. I wond3r how its lik3.

It must b3 th3 3n3rgy g3l I was 3ating at th3 marathon. I think its h3aty, so I am having a mini br3akout of zits. Sp3aking of which, an 3y3 sty3 is a zit insid3 th3 3y3. Yup, you h3ard it, Yours truly is suff3ring from a cas3 of "bak zham"..... I finally r3l3nt3d and w3nt to th3 doc for antibiotic.

On anoth3r hot matt3r. Th3 A&F boys ar3 out on full forc3. Th3y will b3 th3r3 from 11am to 5pm 3v3ry day till op3ning.

I show3d my fri3nds som3 pics and jok3d that my 3y3 sty3 is NOT du3 to s33ing 1/2 nak3d boys.

But s3riously, th3ir abs ar3 quit3 unr3al. You know, wh3n p3opl3 in pictur3s hav3 abs, th3y pos3d at c3rtain angl3s and fl3x? Th3s3 boys... th3y don't stand still. Th3y mov3 about, wav3 arms, rais3 hands turn around.... TH3IR abs N3V3R GO AWAY!!! Its lik3 th3y w3r3 carv3d into th3 bodi3s.

I am inspir3d and I wond3r how much tim3 th3y d3vot3 to gym and what kinba food th3y 3at.... whil3 drinking my toff33 nut latt3 and gobbling down zi char.

Ah... lif3 is all about A&F, Ambitions and Food.

Now, I n33d my 3y3drops!

I hav3 b33n missing for a whl3. Most of u whom hav3 m3t m3 r3c3ntly would know th3 r3ason. That my lappi3 had on3 k3y missing and I cannot writ3 compl3t3 words with it. I cont3mplat3d buying a n3w lappi3. Cos I had not blogg3d for ag3s. And I hav3 som3 trav3l pics to upload.And of cours3, stori3s to t3ll.

I crank3d my brains as I try to find a way to typ3 smoothly without having to l3t th3 l3ttr g3t too much in th3 way.

I finally found th3 way. I gu3ss som3tim3s, If you p3rs3v3r3 3nough, it pays off.

So th3r3 you hav3 it. Is it too unb3arabl3 to r3ad? Sorry if it is and i s33k your und3rstanding to indulg3 in m3.

R3mirth is back!

How has 3v3ryon3 b33n?

When it comes to the matters of the heart. How many times is enough? And when is it not?
They say 3 times a charm. I think more like "cham".

The 1st was a fluke, he says he is sorry. It's never happened before. And you need him so much. You cannot imagine a world without him. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance. Love, is unconditional isn't it?

 -peace-

When you least expect it, you get a call from a total stranger that asks you to leave him. And that they have been together before you. It didn't matter if it was an ex that he kept in touch with and in many more ways than the occasional pleasantries. You'd remember feeling like a wreck in moments like this. Somehow time stands still while you watch everything around you crumble. The trip you'd planned for, the showrooms you seen and the family and friends that you've known. You tell yourself, it's enough. Only to melt like a candlewax in face of the sweet nothings and incessant apologies. Like the smooth wax, you let it slip. He proposed, you relent

-bliss-

Nobody is perfect. But there is a line to be drawn. It's one thing to sow your wild oats, it's another to bear fruit. In another person's orchard. So what do you do this time?

If you are tuned into the radio during the early 90s, you will have no doubt been aware of the girl-fronted bands that was so in the rage then. We have No Doubt (Gwen Stefani), The Cardigans (Nina Persson), and you have The Cranberries ( Dolores O Riordon).

The Cranberies 1st burst into the scene with the single "Linger" from the 1st CD "Everyone else is doing it, why not us." Which was a gem to own. But they got commercial success with their 2nd CD "No need to argue." which spawned off hits like "Zombie", "Ode to my family" and "Dreaming my dreams." etc. I was not a hardcore fan but I loved Dolores's voice. I do agree the yodelling is a bit incessant at times and irritating. But when she sings properly, her voice charms like an angel.

Even our ice-cantopop queen borrow a page from their style, covering "Dreams" in cantonese AND mandarin. And hints of their arrangement could be found in her Teresa Teng tribute albume "Songs of Decadence."

So when I heard they were coming to this part of the world, I was excited to say the least. Blessed friends I have got me slots into the concert.

Oh my it was high energy right from the start. The crowd was cheering on since the 1st song and as she belted out familiar songs after songs. I was happily transported back to my young punk days.

Her voice is like magic. At moments raspy whispers and at moments husky smooth like chocolate. And when she hits the high notes, you feel like you're in a chapel somewhere listening to some saprano in a choir.

The crowd went wild went "Zombie" came on. With the easy lyrics and the grunge inspired "heavy" sound, it was not a surprise that its well liked by the crowd.

Dolores was her old self. Prancing on stage and at times engaging the crowd to sing along, which they gladly accomodated.

I love attending concerts like these! Good music, charming musicians and a good natured crowd. SO HAPPY!